|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
The inaugural Harry Onno Cup, a charity exhibition game between the two Cutting Edges teams, was interrupted by a devastating hit by Chris “Bertuzzi” Morrison and subsequent injury to sophomore sensation, Trevor “Bam Bam” Loke near the end of the first period in Wednesday’s game (April 7, 2010) at the Kits Arena.
Due to the injury, a broken arm and the medical team needed, the game was called at 2-1 for the A Team. The Club announced that due to the infraction, and inability to continue the game, the game was deemed a tie. The Club was still to donate the proceeds from the Harry Onno Cup to the Dr. Peter Centre, AIDS Hospice. It is hoped that the game will be completed at a later date.
However, the collision is becoming a bit of a controversy. The two teams have rather divergent views of what occurred.
B-Team Captain, Simon Litherland, saw the entire episode develop. “A-Team tough guy Morrison, gets to the rink with his Hell’s Angels buddies, late, and I saw him, like, kick a visually impaired spectator, and his assistant dog, basically a puppy, then he skates straight onto the ice, and wallops our young Trevor, who I think at the time was trying to sell the merits of global warming science to another A-Team player.” With a tear of despair trickling down his rosy cheek, Litherland continued: “It was terrible. Oh the whore, the whore.” When corrected that he meant the Apocalypse Now reference, “the horror, the horror” Litherland replied: “No, I got it right the first time, ya wanker.”
Litherland finished the B-Team news conference with what can only be considered a threat, albeit a rather dainty threat: “I am so angry with what occurred tonight, that when Ryan Robutka sends me his email invite for another Tupperware party, I am so NOT replying. Just don’t go there.”
A-Team manager, and spokesmodel, Ryan Robutka saw the incident, differently. “Chris is a big guy, but a sweetheart. He spends his afternoons gardening and taking the vegetables from that garden to a downtown eastside homeless shelter. But just prior to this game, he had just come from delivering that much need sustenance to the shelter, and clearly throbbing and excited to help the needy. And when he saw the rather svelte Loke in much need of nutrition himself, he clearly, in his exuberance, he lost his footing, fell forward with a large zucchini in his hand that must’ve struck Loke, whose nickname is “Bam Bam” for a reason, ya know.”
Continued Robutka: “We think he set this whole thing up to look good in the eyes of the media, considering his shady past. We also think he’s either faking it or, the cast is a ploy to lure young, unexpecting paramours to his bedside.” Turning to leave the news conference, Robutka, clearly emotional, finished: “Why won’t you please think of the children, the children. God bless you all.” Exactly where the zucchini hit Loke, or what happened to the missing vegetable is another contentious issue. Further details should be released when the offending vegetable is recovered and tested.
The Harry Onno Cup is a charity exhibition game held by the Cutting Edges Gay Men’s Hockey Club annually to raise monies for the Dr. Peter Centre, a HIV/AIDS Hospice in Vancouver’s West End. The event is named after Edges veteran forward, Harry Onno who unexpectedly passed away in 2009. And on this, the final word goes to past Club president, Daryl “Grandma” Kochan: “Harry would’ve liked this game – hockey, beer and broken bones. Nothing said Harry more than that.”
|
|
| |
comments
add your own comment
|
|
The following are trademarks or service marks of the Cutting Edges Gay Hockey Club and may be used only with permission of the Cutting Edges Gay Hockey Club or the relevant Cutting Edges Gay Hockey Club entity: Cutting Edges, Cutting Edges Hockey, CEH, the Cutting Edges logo, and the names, nicknames, logos, uniform designs, color combinations, and slogans designating the Cutting Edges Gay Hockey Club and entities, and their respective mascots, events and exhibitions.
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
INAUGURAL HARRY ONNO CUP INTERRUPTED BY DEVASTATING INJURY
